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Good Influence: Teaching the Wisdom of Adulthood, by Daniel R. Heischman
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Young people desperately seek to develop an inner core that will not only rescue them in times of distress, but also help them to define and shape moral convictions, passions, and interests in building a better world. To find this inner coherence, they turn to their parents and teachers -- the adults who are supposed to know them better than they know themselves. But these same adults are often driven and desperate to stay young, and are unclear how to achieve the wisdom and maturity of an elder to put the needs of their children and students above their own.
Young people do not want us to become part of "their" world, according to author Dan Heischman, but they invite us -- and need us -- to be different... to be adults, for them.
This book will help adults understand what young people are searching for, describe how to have a lasting impact on your children's or student's development, teach credible models of adulthood, and guide adults towards achieving the passion and wisdom for spiritual mentorship.
Drawing on thirty years of experience with parents, teachers, and students, the author uses stories and sound principles not so much to help bridge the generation gap, but to use the natural difference in maturity as a basis and guideline for more effective communication and connection.
- Sales Rank: #704203 in Books
- Published on: 2009-09-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .39" w x 5.56" l, .43 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 146 pages
Review
"Dan Heischman offers a thoughtful, often courageous, always heartening book about the art of helping young people become healthy adults. I hope parents, teachers, and students will read this important book together, sharing ideas about the practice of good influence and imagining ways of furthering each other on this journey." --Paula Lawrence Wehmiller, educator, author, and Episcopal priest
Review
"In a society that values perpetual youth, immediate gratification, and being cool instead of being adult, young people long for mature, genuine, and compassionate adults in their lives. This well-grounded, richly storied, practical and inspiring book is a gift to every parent, teacher, principal, professor, and chaplain who is willing to `be there' for the next generation."
Review
"Good Influence is a powerful exploration of the prerogatives and responsibilities of adulthood. Heischman's poignant and personal work underscores the enormous rewards of risking young people's disapproval for the sake of their growth. I can't imagine a parent or teacher who won't be instructed, moved, and uplifted."
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Not Your Average Parenting Book
By Jena Benik
I was invited to read by the early development director of a prestigious private school in our city, and I was expecting that it would be a typical parenting book with typical advice: pay attention to what your kids say, don't let them run over you, make them understand the value of money and that actions have consequences. I consider myself a fine parent, and had always tried to do those things. But this book was completely different from what I expected.
The basis for this book is that children need the adults in thier lives to be adults, and that not enough of them are. They don't need big kids, grown-up friends, or advocates. They don't need parents and teachers who strive to be youthful and cool, or to live their lives through those of their children. They need people who are different from them who can show them how to be successful adults. They need people who will listen to them, and respond with measured reason and maturity. They need people who will slow them down when they are moving too fast, and who will show them how to solve problems on their own, instead of solving their problems for them.
A lot of is counterintuative. But Heischman speaks from a position of authority, having spent his life in education. Although he is an Episcopal priest, this is not a religious book by any stretch. If any criticism can be bestowed, it is that the book reads like an academic paper rather than an easily-flowing narrative. And it harps on its central point a bit heavily.
Still, this short book packs a lot into 150 pages. After reading it, I was able to list ten changes that I need to make in my own parenting style in order to give my kids the tools to become successful adults, and not merely to remain the happiest possible children. There is a big difference between the two, and Heischman shows how to achieve the first without harming the second.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
A thoughtful work on the meaning of good influence and the import of it...
By Cannon
This is a wonderful work that comes from experience. It is a thoughtful examination of the proper role of an adult from the perspective of what it means to influence another, a child, in a positive manner. In many ways, the ideas are simple; however, the author shares many experiences that illustrate how we have pressed children to "be older" while adults cling to their youth. This is an excellent work that shows what the difference is between childlike and childish and implores, quite practically, the adults in our society to embrase their experience and wisdom and provide that influence that children need to grow and learn to be productive members of society. Although it is not a lengthy work, it has density of wisdom between the front and back cover, and will give an adult reader much to think about - and discuss with other adults.
This is an excellent book to use for a discussion oriented book club and has direct relevence to education.
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Real grown-ups help others grow up
By Rosemary
In readable prose and attractive book design, Dan Heischman invites us to act our age. What children need most as a "good influence" is adults who are not afraid to be themselves, not averse to setting boundaries and not forgetful of what it was like to be young. Recommended for anyone - parents, teachers, coaches, ministers - who wants to help young people grow into their fullness with goodness and joy.
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